SOUR STUMBLE BLOCKS

Heavy. Have you felt heavy? Have you been heavy? Heavy is what today is all about. Heavy runs back to back with the piece of apple that stuck on Adam's throat. One that changed humanity. That type of energy heavy. So you can stop here. But for those willing to hear the words of a tired soul...let's indulge.

Do you know how positivity fills you in when you begin to feel a so called "connection"? How well you think you know where it's all headed. Living in the abuse of demise. Demise that represented your will. 
You let yourself in, knowing all the rules. All the circumstances. The divine knowledge you'd gained from a funny adage that goes "experience is your best teacher". But this student skipped class and the message was but words...oh sorry to the elites that created the adage!!! Your young ancestor simply didn't listen. And you know what they say about naive. Naive gets you in situations you couldn't ever handle. Fuck the masses. Fuck logic. Fuck reason. Here presents the solicited award for the clown of the year!

You get yourself one of those fancy little expensive imaginations knowing that soon you'll pay the cost. The cost of turning a blind eye. The cost of stupidity. So you run in like the loyal dog that you are and wait for your daily bone. The messages. The everything. At this point you're so sure. You let yourself believe that...Hey? He's really gonna be different...I trust my gut. No sis, you took a deep knife down your tummy, deep into the abyss of the fat that surrounds it and into the core of your soul. You took a leap of downfall. Faith had packed up and left with the last bus.

So you think,  it's cost effective to have expensive conversations with someone who has a mental issue. And that's on me. I'm the issue. And I didn't know that at that time. Or maybe I did, i just missed the heart break. To be honest heartbreaks just dont sink that deep...they last a couple days and that's that.  But craving sadness was an apple a day and i had formed it and my oh my it felt good. Nutsssss!!!! Nobody thinks like that. People are cultured well at least depression is just an article in a book. But I dug a pit and I buried myself within the sand

Months in and ready for the kill. Why not carry a gun to this fight... since there's no difference with  taking a bullet. Armed with reasons to be,  I killed the reason to think. And that was treason to the state of my heart. So I was banished to death. Upon the words leaving the tip of my fingers since shy was my timely companion, the blow of a thousand fuck you's lit up in my face in tiny little progressive oncomings. The body was tired, the soul was freezing. Death!!!!

So who watches walking dead???. My beautiful well taken care of masterpiece of a photo up there... is a symbol of what happened. Darkness is a lively companion. And there comes a time when light surrounds dark and dark has no power. I mean, simply lighting up a torch kills darkness by a big margin. So yes, darling Blvck learnt that she needed to dissociate from societal dark days and personal demise.

So I changed. I dont allow the bull to come in. I'm the lighted pathway in the middle with a tiny pond of water. I'm a change and I don't want any of the mild surrounding negativity to rid me of my peace. So I depart, once more....