Saturday 3 April 2021

Shall we?

 



First things first. I am very sorry. I took a pretty long break didn't I? I gave my passion away for too long. But, here I am now. Did you miss me? Cause I sure as hell missed writing. So what are we writing about today?


It is the cliche for me. I have to hijack the show for a while if you'd let me. I have been sick. I was in bed for about 12 days? Well, until I could move around a bit. So during this period, ...how about I just take my writing style back.

Variety is what took over. Believe me. I had so much to think about. One of the perks of being an overthinker, is you really never run out of things to question. It's always a conversation up there. Well, thinking out loud wouldn't even do it justice. So what are some of the things that crossed my mind.

Myself. Where I am. What I stand for. How happy am I. Am I really really okay or is it a facade? Can I promise myself not to expect. Am I expecting already. I was. I did. I definitely was. So why was I? 

I wrote it sometime today that I am in a hurry. Like, say when I started working out. I was like sure, by the time September gets here, I'll be solid. I forgot it's a process. I forgot things aren't always smooth. So why am I in a hurry in this journey called life? 

You might be reading and wondering why is being in a hurry so bad. Why am I insisting? It's cause, I am alive. Hmm. Here is Monday. Why am I thinking about October 20th 2021 when here lies Monday. Here is a new day. Here is 3rd April. What about 3rd April? Will I just be a ghost. And totally disregard that the sun is shining, there's gonna be food at some point, there's music to listen to, there's today to enjoy. There's me being a totally amazing person. And no one can take that from me... so why is October 20th 2021 too impatient. I'll cross that bridge when I get there. This is the point I'm trying to put across.

Another thing that was playing a part in my thoughts was this whole GBV issue. I mean huh? Are we that shallow really? Like is this something to argue about also? Is this something to form insults around? Let's just think about it from the perspective of just being human. Why would you want to disturb someone else's peace? Why? Why would you want to give someone a broken leg. I mean at least once you've sprained your leg and I know it didn't feel pretty. So why. Why do you want someone to go through that which yourself wouldn't be able to handle? 


I mean sure yeah, let's point fingers shall we? Don't talk to strangers. Sure, that was the poem even when we were toddlers going to school. Okay, dress down. Hmm?? Really? Dress down. Okay sawa. Dress down. Don't accept drinks that you're not paying for? Don't. In fact, if you do, you lose rights to your dignity. So don't. Don't go to people's houses. Okay sawa. So now? What's left. What is really left. You've literally stripped down the mere freedom of existing from that person. Weren't we all strangers at some point? Not unless you wanna put it in some twisted way where we're related. 


So, what about it. Since when did being a dignified human come with conditions. And rules. And ideals. Ati immediately you spend you can use another person to your fill. I mean, there are some people who will do that for you no questions asked and you'll pay them. Anyway. The more I think about it, the more I grit my teeth. I just wish people could see that being a little human doesn't make you a lesser person.


Comes to the tip. Haha, love. This thing bana. Crazy. I mean, it would be nice to love someone and receive the same. Then get to do all the things you have at the back of your heads together. But then again it's such a difficult thing to find. Most especially this one called unconditional love. Just bliss. Just 2 people completely nuts for each other. 2 people complementing each other. 2 people making life worth living. Well, look at me, a hopeless romantic. But these tides we're riding, I must say. Heavy stuff. 


Lakini sisi naniiiiiii. Who are weeee??? We are achievers. What do we do? We gerrit. Everything has timing. Even those things that you wanna rush. Like being rich. Darn. Everything has timing. Luckily, God keeps us around long enough to get to them. Don't you think you deserve at least, at least hope? Yeah don't kill it. So shall we? 

Sunday 31 January 2021

HUH????

 





I mean exactly. Huh? Like what was that? Like what in the hell was that? Well before I get all dramatic. Before I start mnyambuliko was vitenzi. I think this was where we were supposed to apply those funny Swahili way of speech we were taught. 

It's been a minute, right? Well here I am. Here I am in dee flesh writing after being away for a long while. 

So why,... huh? 

Well you see. Things have been pretty crazy in my life. But I choose not to share. Because where's the fun in that? So. Things have been typically crazy for me this January. Azin. Bro. 

2020 WASN'T HALF THIS BAD. 2020 WAS A FUCKING BREEZE PEEPS. BREEEZZEEE!!!


Why am I being overly dramatic? It's cause I've never felt this much since I don't know when. Tihihi. Yeps. Its been crazy, real, damn, huge emotional rollercoaster. Ah. 

Lakini strong strong tupo!! Jeshi!!

So. What actually made me write this time round was. I am surprised by how mean people can be. Like yo? Hujui jokes. Hujui kurelax siste.

 Wozzup. Wozzpopinn.

I mean. What's so wrong about a girl's inability to do one thing. I mean. Before you go ahead and judge. Show me how you control your flaws. Show me the puppeteer that you are. Show me how you manipulate everything into going your way. Show me your billions. 

I mean. Billionaires are entitled to egos. I mean. They could buy off your whole street. 

But who are you? Why does someone else's peaceful existence have to include you? 

Don't be selfish!!!!!

Relax. 

Let's be realistic. Half the insecurities we make fun of from other people, belong to us. And what are you doing Kings and Queens? Why are we making it so hard to breath when we could just breath. We don't need those inhalers peeps. Why should someone control the air you breath?

Ah! These selfish hypocrites hiding behind religion. I mean. God sees through your shit... you're not so special. The world is supposed to be a better place. Not grounds for being a dictator to someone else's life. What makes you think you're so supreme?

Well. I just wish. Some day. People will stop being bad just because they think it'll make them cooler. And they'll let people go if they only know they're going to hurt them. 

A little peace wouldn't hurt now,  would it?

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