Take a deep breath... will you? I know some of you didn't. But it doesn't matter because...this narrative will make it clear to you what depression feels like. If you know the feeling...maybe I'll get a few nods... maybe... If yours has gotten to this extreme. But hey... I'm not trying to bring you fear. I'm trying to make it all clear.

You know the constant emotion of... "what is it that I am?"
" hey...you know what...maybe they're right?".

Cause mama echoed and dug the deep holes that dried up. The tears that stopped flowing. Not because everything is okay... but because mama believes you're lazy. And you know the notion that they are always right. But I'm not here to talk about mama... I'm here to talk about depression. And I'll kick it off with a story perhaps. Are you ready... emotional darlings let's delve into the situation. Deeper. Right to the core of it all. All its essence and all its ugly... you know...really ugly.
Imagine waking up. And you get a whiff of your image on a mirror. Then you just step back. You take a big look at yourself because hey...you dreamt of demise. Because sadness was where you felt comfortable. Because sad is glad. And because glad is all sad felt... sad ruled. Sad became you and sad became your best bud. So you look at that mirror and you die. Spooky huh? No I mean. You are so disappointed at how you've ended up. But then you're like...they said it's fine to feel broken. Makes you a responsible bitch. Not a demonic one ready to pounce.

Then you step out with your really great earphones...hey a witch's got to flex sometimes.
And you take your daily fast stroll to school and you're like... "oh fuck... I got to socialise today so that I don't look like a bitch." No.  Believe me I got some amazing friends. You just never wanna stop talking to them...but the situation was a blur. It was one of those days when sad and I needed to be alone. Me and my best bud feeling it all. Dont get me wrong I'm a huge fan of sad... wanna know why??? Because sad is reality. Sad knows that if they make a comment like ....yoo shes so big...or yooo shes got mad insecurities...sad tells me that hey they really aren't that wrong. Not because I'm feeling pity for myself, but because half the words in their heads are like a toned down bit of all the insults my mind shouts in my head everyday like a fucking goddamn tape on repeat....breeeeeaaattthhhhh!!!!!! Breath... because this is just a whiff of what a shitty brain I have. But hey sometimes lil shitty can become a great conversation sparked... I know right...so darn glam... but hey today it's all about the depression.
Depression is always carrying a hard lump in your throat because of the things you've experienced in life. The pain and the torment of echoing memories. Memories that don't seem to see you trying so hard to get rid of them...but shit's like throwing a boomerang. The worst kind of pain is when your whole body is numb and your eyes are burning cause you want to cry but then you slowly swallow that feeling because you are numb. And you just make fucked up decisions like finishing a whole bottle of rum with no chaser and smoking blunts back to back till your voice gets hoarse.
That feeling when you're arguing with the one that you love and you feel them cutting the thread of hope you have in them in very big steps. And the little deadly jokes made in between your biggest fears and regrets.

But hey too much of sad isnt going to do any of us good. So I'm just going to highlight that being depressed isn't pretty. And as much as you come at people who are depressed claiming they want it for themselves then clearly you do not know what is going on in their heads 24/7. The pain and the feeling you have God knows where to someone who's laughing his ass off to a meme somewhere. To someone having a beautiful relationship somewhere. To someone who has it all. To someone who just...

Anyway. Depression is not a game. It's a disease. If you find a friend or someone failing from this disease....hold their hands and make them feel loved.... God knows they deserve this. They deserve love. Give it to them and just be there for them and they will be so grateful. They will love and adore every bit of help they get.

DEPRESSION IS REAL... It can come for you anytime so be happy if you do not get a visit...